tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74582212011-12-14T21:01:21.730-06:00You couldn't get a word in otherwise.mattnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2431100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-69247882780621710442007-02-28T18:23:00.000-06:002007-02-28T18:31:41.850-06:00

Ok, first off, shaving your head because you made a series of bad choices and you feel your life is screwed up, and you want to something about it except for the things that will actually get you back on the right path, that is soooo last year.I wanted to show my support, and encouragement for her to stick it out in rehab by shaving my head again. But, then a job interview came along. That look

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1162765600274773302006-11-05T16:26:00.000-06:002006-11-05T17:12:46.250-06:00

Yesterday at work, I walked into the men's restroom to find a man helping his little girl wash her hands. Both toilet stalls were full leaving all three urinals open. Wide open. As in no stalls or mini dividers. Being that my bladder wanted to empty immediately, I chose a urinal in the corner and began to relieve myself. It wouldn't have been so incredibly uncomfortable had the little girl

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1162255948116460202006-10-30T18:51:00.000-06:002006-10-30T18:52:28.143-06:00

Tonight while walking down the block to Braums, I spotted what appeared to be a pelican flying overhead. It amazes how a creature of that size glides through the air so effortlessly. Even though I went on a camping trip just a few weeks ago, I miss having free evenings and weekends to spend time at a park or zoo.Last night my sister, a friend of hers and I went to a concert of a favorite

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1139209627071734752006-02-06T00:34:00.000-06:002006-02-06T01:07:07.180-06:00

Kissing - and I mean like, yummy, smacking kissing - is the most delicious, most beautiful and passionate thing that two people can do, bar none. Better than sex, hands down. - Drew Barrymore.He wasn’t even someone I was dating, just a friend from grade school. At times, my best friend. We messed around occassionally. Well, maybe quite often. Why? I could only guess he thought it felt

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1139020676429668502006-02-03T20:22:00.001-06:002006-02-03T20:37:56.440-06:00

For the past three weeks I have modified my work out routine and diet to put on some weight. I plan to stick with this program through the end of March, and depending on my results up to that point, I will either continue or just go back to maintaining a healthy diet and exercise program. Hopefully by then I will have gained mostly good lean muscle mass, and not just body fat.I conducted some

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1137901477222582682006-01-24T21:44:00.000-06:002006-01-24T21:55:20.630-06:00

Friday morning I step outside to spring temperatures and the smell of warm rain. The scent takes me back to the age of four in California. The one or two days of the year it rained, I danced outside in the showers wearing minimal clothing. Spinning and running until I was entirely soaked gave such a wonderful feeling of freedom. It was like a special bath from heaven washing everything bad

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1138070705624987362006-01-23T20:45:00.000-06:002006-01-23T20:45:05.670-06:00

At lunch Sunday with my parents, my dad asked for suggestions of places to take my niece later on in the afternoon.  He offered to watch my niece while my sister and I drove her pick-up truck to Norman to pick-up the couch I bought.  In my excitement to finally have seating for my living room, we forgot about the detail of my niece.  My mom suggested taking her down to Will Rogers Park to see the

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1137904742257754702006-01-21T22:39:00.000-06:002006-01-21T22:38:23.830-06:00

On the screen before us two sheep herders wrestled on the ground throwing in an occasional punch. Carlos leans around the girl between us, “Is that what you guys call foreplay?”The week before we went to see Brokeback Mountain, I had finished reading Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. After reading the last words and closing the back cover, I had the same reaction I would have after watching

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1135658133129974102005-12-26T22:35:00.000-06:002005-12-26T22:35:33.180-06:00

Today I was sassy, or at least a co-worker thought so.An acquaintance-cum-ex-coworker-cum-myspace friend, the kind solely to keep my numbers competitive with my real friends, wrote this rather disparaging blog about a fellow man he witnessed in a department store.  I should mention rumors have it that just a few years ago he was quite a looker.  The kind of rumors that are told in hushed voice as

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1135315406941070122005-12-22T23:23:00.000-06:002005-12-22T23:26:50.553-06:00

I shaved most the hair off of my head this past weekend. The urge to do so has been plaguing me for weeks. I tried holding off until I understood why I wanted to do such a thing. Eventually, I tired from debating and planned make an appointment for a professional to shear the locks from my head. Somehow that just felt wrong. I knew I needed to do it myself.I told one person I made the choice

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1135223867203476802005-12-21T21:57:00.000-06:002005-12-21T22:00:29.896-06:00

My mom, with the help of my dad, creates a book for my niece every Christmas and birthday. The stories involve my niece going on an adventure that ends up tying into some Bible story. My parents illustrate the books with pictures of my niece and clip art. My mom has a natural talent for writing stories. One summer several years ago she had the three of us, herself, my sister and I, write a short

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1132115482163537762005-11-15T22:31:00.000-06:002005-11-15T22:31:22.220-06:00

Much to the disappointment of some of my friends who enjoyed the retelling of my escapades and naming me euphemisms for whore, I ended my year of promiscuity a couple of months ago.  Well, I did slip during the first week, but he looked so fine and lied to me so well.  The idea for this came to me after watching a documentary on the Amish practice of rumspringa.  I knew that the Amish had it

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1130108632574243442005-11-12T22:15:00.000-06:002005-11-12T22:16:08.940-06:00

For Sunday lunch at my parents I bought over the new Alicia Keys Unplugged DVD. I try to keep my parents abreast of the best, at least in my opinion, of current music. Like the time I took off work earlier to catch Kylie Minogue on that TV Show Ryan Seacrest had. Because I wouldn't make it to my apartment in time, and she only lived a few blocks from my work, I caught the show with my mom at

mattnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1130084256703983292005-10-23T10:34:00.000-05:002005-10-23T17:09:47.396-05:00

We only got $70 back from our deposit. Of course I put the blame on Southern for not getting the full amount back. I rattled off a seemingly endless list of reasons starting with the hole he put in the shower ceiling within the first five minutes of moving into the apartment. He said it was because my birds put a speck of a stain on the wall, which I never did see. Funny thing is, they wrote

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1129780006031802242005-10-19T21:56:00.000-05:002005-10-19T22:46:46.093-05:00

Greasy globules littered my desktop as we cut, pulled and tore the thick layer of fat from the heart. Well, I actually share the desk with another person. Our two other lab partners, both younger girls, volunteered our desk for the dissection of the sheep's heart. The mess was nothing compared to some of the other things we have seen or done in our long careers as Biology students. Though I do

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1129600831219070852005-10-18T15:24:00.000-05:002005-10-18T15:24:54.943-05:00

I only moved a couple of miles down the street, so I still have 2 gym locations with in a few miles in opposite directions. On my Monday day offs, I like to visit the gym in the gayer part of town instead of the one next door to work. I don't know if there have been studies to prove that more gay people leave in that area, but it seems to be a widespread consensus. I have met many people who call

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1129596964151776182005-10-17T17:59:00.000-05:002005-10-17T19:56:04.200-05:00

I have been rather busy the past several weeks. Which has been a blessing to my insomniac tendencies. For the last several nights, I have pretty much passed out within seconds of my head hitting the pillow. The exceptions limited to the couple nights before an exam when thoughts of bone names, names of the various bumps on each bone, muscles, origins, insertions, and how the professor pronounced

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1127068884604201772005-09-20T13:41:00.000-05:002005-09-21T07:30:34.816-05:00

I keep M&M'’s in a gumball machine. When I have to pay for a few at a time, it tends to take a couple of weeks for me to devour a whole bag instead of a couple of minutes. Besides a few pieces usually satisfies a chocolate craving.After scooping the candy from the machine I open my fingers to examine the goodies. An urge comes over me to create a balance or pattern of colors. Generally this is

mattnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1127074656680296252005-09-19T08:40:00.000-05:002005-09-19T08:40:53.250-05:00

When I called to tell them that I would be late for lunch, my sister answered "we were just talking about you." I tried to ask about the words spoken of me, but my mom rushed in with "don't tell him what we said." Apparently a surprise waited for me, and knowing the conversation would ruin the surprise. The preceding night, I had mentioned to Carlos that I was going to tell my mom during

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1127080481615401482005-09-18T16:53:00.000-05:002005-09-18T16:54:41.620-05:00

Old girl wears plastic gloves on her hands to protect against the gnats nesting in the computer keyboards at work. Without the gloves, she claims her hands would be covered with tiny bites. The rest of us seem to be immune to attacks from this pest as no one else has suffered with these symptoms. The other day, I watch her dressed in a short skirt and and heels march across a large overgrown

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1126921081058475282005-09-16T20:38:00.000-05:002005-09-16T20:38:59.366-05:00

This guy was so checking me out earlier this evening at the gym.  Now, my intentions for going to the gym are strictly health and fitness related.  Cruising for guys, especially at the place I work out, is not a motivating factor, but it never hurts to look every now and then.  Besides, if that is what I paid my $30 a month for, I would only stop by the location closest to my house.  That place

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1126637220553437872005-09-13T13:46:00.000-05:002005-09-13T13:47:00.556-05:00

Matt: that movie looks really good. And, it has been getting such good reviews.Friend: Oh really. Did you read the one in the Gazette?Matt: No. I've only seen the ones quoted in the commercial.

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1126543664168900212005-09-12T11:42:00.000-05:002005-09-12T11:47:44.173-05:00

When my dad is present, my mom tries to fake being such a prude. It shocked me the first time when just the two of watched a movie filled with dirty jokes. She laughed and laughed and laughed. Yet, just a few weeks later, we rented a movie family that contained a single joke about a blow job. She spoke so naturally you would have never realized the lines were memorized from a script, “I don’t

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1123731361615660862005-08-10T22:25:00.000-05:002005-08-10T22:36:01.620-05:00

This morning my eye caught a whole gob of shampoo - not just a flurry of escaped suds. As a matter of fact, I didn't even have a good lather worked up by that point. A viscous droplet fell from my, which, ironically, I didn't see coming. To make it worse, I was using a cheap knock-off brand to test if it was truly just as good as the original. That wood be a no. The chemicals have been harsh

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1123458812269743432005-08-07T18:45:00.000-05:002005-08-07T18:53:32.276-05:00

Last night waiting in line to enter the Copa, the guy behind us commented that nobody (at least no gay man) was going to leave the club while Kelly Clarkson was playing. Sure enough the line didn't budge an inch during the whole song. "They need to play something bad" he remarked. Then the next song came on: Girls Just Want to Have Fun. "Why do they play this shit? At least we'll definitely get

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1123129671072857142005-08-05T12:01:00.000-05:002005-08-05T23:53:56.086-05:00

I believe my niece is turning into a gay man, which is totally not my doing. Well, at least in her 4 year old little princess, as she often reminds us, way. Consider the similarities of this Margaret Cho bit and an incident between my niece and I.From I'm the One That I Want:Gay men are the worst. If they hook up with somebody they leave you soooo fast...Your gay friends are like, "Girl you

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1123127720370578512005-08-04T12:28:00.000-05:002005-08-04T12:28:18.480-05:00

In a hurry to return to the tea party with Uncle Matt (yes Carlos, how could she not know) after using the toilet:Grannie: We need to wash your hands.Niece: No. My hands are clean.Grannie: No. Any time you touch your butt you need to wash your hands.Uncle Matt: (to himself) I wonder if that applies to grabbing someone else's ass.

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1123127356608729782005-08-03T22:33:00.000-05:002005-08-03T22:59:00.846-05:00

Because its best to learn about the benefits of water and vegetables while making poopie.My mom helped my 4 year old niece in the bathroom the other day with the bathroom door open:Niece: It hurts too much.Grannie: You need to drink pleny of water and that won't happen. And veggies are good for you too.Niece: veggies?Grannie: like carrots...Niece: I like carrots.Grannie: and that corn we had for

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1121393479623284802005-07-14T21:10:00.000-05:002005-07-14T21:11:19.630-05:00

It surprised me to learn that she drinks a Bloody Mary everyday after arriving home. I've tried making a homemade version that I had to sadly pour down the sink. The problem, I have been told, was that I used V8 juice, which I don't really care for in the first place. I only attempted making the drink after tasting, and enjoying a friends ordered at a restaurant. I had another chance to try

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1121289374066833612005-07-13T16:09:00.000-05:002005-07-13T16:16:14.070-05:00

Survey says that Alicia Keys is too black. The AngryBlackBitch gave better commentary on this than I ever could have.

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1121058833772386562005-07-10T23:21:00.000-05:002005-07-11T00:13:53.806-05:00

On my weekly Sunday strolls to a local burger and creamery shop, I pass by a nursing home. Sometimes I wonder if this facility caters to those with psychiatric issues, judging by a few of the characters running around the property. Today I debated about driving the few blocks to my destination due to the heat. Being without a date tonight, I decided a little sweat stench won't harm me. Beside

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1120705897603047952005-07-06T21:52:00.000-05:002005-07-06T22:11:37.606-05:00

Twenty minutes until the end of auction on the shoes I was winning on eBay, I pulled up the item page to wait out any last minutes stealers. My eyes caught attention to the sellers name, but my brain read it as the Highest Bidders name. I gasped hard sucking down an M&M I had been savoring. I nearly choked to death before figuring out I was still highest bidder.Anyway, I won my shoes, and they

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1120692957027595022005-07-06T18:28:00.000-05:002005-07-06T18:35:57.040-05:00

Where does Express come up with all those ugly shirts to put in the sale bins? I don't ever remember seeing them at full price on the shelves and racks. It reminds me of going to the state fair and being amazed at certain people making their annual public appearance.On a related note, I considered buying a shirt until I noticed the $10 price tag was marked down to $9.99. That's just insulting.

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1120611834161180742005-07-05T19:22:00.000-05:002005-07-05T20:12:15.126-05:00

Like Deja Vu. I had two fortune cookies give me the same truism: "Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you." I looked to the left and right. He wasn't there.The target a few blocks down from my apartment is being remodeled and extended into a Super Target. Yes, Target, I will excuse the mess while your under construction. Driving by and seeing the progress fills me with happiness.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1120444087663134552005-07-03T21:26:00.000-05:002005-07-04T13:28:32.116-05:00

When leaving my apartment in a hurry, I tried turning off the tv with my car's keyless entry remote. I had to look down at the object in my hand to figure out why the tv wouldn't turn off.Previous So Stupid Entry

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1120334705025001732005-07-02T14:59:00.000-05:002005-07-02T15:05:05.040-05:00

While using the restroom at the Taco Cabana during lunch, I looked over at the divider separating the two urinals. In black ink a message squeezed in the corner advertised a quick sex session with Rob and gave a number to schedule an appointment. I remember the name clearly, as I have noticed that this Rob pops is listed in several public restroom across this city. Of course I never remember the

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1120009061010661732005-06-28T20:09:00.000-05:002005-06-28T20:37:41.030-05:00

This weekend I attended my first pride. At least part of it anyway. Saturday, our customer's decided to keep us busy enough to prevent me from getting off work early enough for the festivities at the park. Then, Sunday being my mom's birthday I spent most of the day with family. I made it down to the strip just in time to see the whole party and the after parties at the clubs. I have never

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1119684271921934502005-06-25T02:24:00.000-05:002005-06-25T02:24:31.926-05:00

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1119565532339504562005-06-23T17:23:00.000-05:002005-06-23T17:26:29.036-05:00

Drenched in sweat from a fast pace work out on the elliptical trainer, my skin screamed for a treatment of soap and water. The overload of signals for the need of a shower prevented my brain from hearing the small cries of my over filled bladder. That is until the first drops of warm water hit my body. With the promise of a proper cleansing in fulfillment the once overbearing transmissions ceased

mattnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1119199273600492042005-06-19T11:17:00.000-05:002005-06-19T11:41:13.613-05:00

Whew! One credit hour down and three more to go. Actually, the class was very bearable for a Friday-Saturday session. This was mainly due to the Kick Ass (as I described her to some friends who laughed as the words left my lips) Professor. She kept humor in the lecture, threw in some videos and guest speakers, and made the work easy. The final exam consisted of writing two words given to us at

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1118972526370832052005-06-16T20:35:00.000-05:002005-06-17T12:16:06.790-05:00

Tomorrow is the start of the first class to finish my degree. I am actually nervous about it. Mainly because it is a Fashion Marketing Class called Creative Problem Solving. We don't have a textbook or workbook, so I have no preview into what to expect. As it is only two days, I don't expect any homework or papers to write, which is a good thing. The other thing is that this HUGE pimple has

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1118806796837783542005-06-14T22:23:00.000-05:002005-06-14T22:39:56.843-05:00

During summer vacation after 2nd grade I spent a day at my friend Jenny's house. While playing a nice game of hide and seek, her mother announced that she had to step out to borrow some sugar from the neighbor. After the door closed, Jenny stripped her clothes off and positioned herself to show off her girl parts. I was horrorfied. "Now show me yours," she hollered with glee. I ran screaming

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1118697082714061662005-06-13T15:54:00.000-05:002005-06-13T16:11:22.720-05:00

Ok, thought I should post a second one of these today. After a few semi-depressing posts, I wanted something lighter to read. The first one I wrote light hearted, but turned out to be rather sad in reading. I recently purchased the book When I Knew, and thought I would share a few of my own as I remember them.We had most of the action figure collection including Castle Grayskull. I loved

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1118695701436975492005-06-13T15:29:00.000-05:002005-06-13T15:48:21.443-05:00

I always knew. It never seemed odd to me that I fancied boys, until I heard the word faggot. It was in first grade during the bathroom break. At our elementary school, the boys room had urinals built in as caves into the wall and down on the floor. On this day, the boys lined up at the opposite wall, and competed on who could actually hit the urinals, and how high up the wall. I had been in

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1118619445089939112005-06-12T18:16:00.000-05:002005-06-13T15:26:44.310-05:00

In my dream last night we took my car on a day trip. Just my best friends and I in my VW Jetta. We had this feeling that this was to be the best trip we would take. If I hadn't mentioned it before, I love my car and I love road trips. And out of all the cars I have driven, I love taking road trips in this car the best. All signs pointed to a successful trip. The car passed its check-up, we

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1118360047135214832005-06-09T18:33:00.000-05:002005-06-09T18:34:07.140-05:00

Sometimes I just get too carried away with over analyzing things. After talking with a friend today, I have calmed down considerably. Not that I was actually physically or outwardly in a mess, just my mind and emotions were getting out of control. It didn't help that friends and room mate were constantly asking "did he call you?" or other things about him. It did help that I actually wrote

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1118273027918609502005-06-08T18:16:00.000-05:002005-06-08T18:23:47.923-05:00

Until the Sunday before Memorial day, things between us had been moving positively. With happiness in his voice, he called me several times a week, and I gladly returned the favor. When together both of us expressed attachment to each other through our body language. The Saturday night before the change friends who saw us together thought that we would be inseparable. Then the relationship

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1118100588697392882005-06-06T18:02:00.000-05:002005-06-06T18:29:48.710-05:00

After first hearing the song a couple of months ago, I asked what a hollaback girl was. My friends, who usually know all the modern lingo returned my question with blank stares and shrugged shoulders. I dropped the issue as I knew someday I would figure it out. Today on the radio these DJs razzed their comrad as he asked this same question. He was vindicated as none of the others could come

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1117746083986734952005-06-02T15:58:00.000-05:002005-06-02T17:35:26.336-05:00

At work we have two characters running around, who frankly I find repulsive. The first, a gentleman in his maybe late thirties, resembles Brutus from Popeye. His small head dwarfed by his large frame is covered with unkempt dark hair and a bushy beard-mustache combo. Instead of the cartoon's massive muscles, he has in equal proportion thick layers of belly insulation. When we ended up in a

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1117575548519509712005-05-31T16:34:00.000-05:002005-05-31T16:40:15.940-05:00

I need one of these:Ben & Jerry's Pint LockNot that Southern would ever touch my ice cream. I just want to make it clear that this rare treat is all mine. Is it such a bad thing to be selfish about just one thing?Oh, it's Chunky Monkey in case you wanted to know.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1117303843459958162005-05-28T13:07:00.000-05:002005-05-28T13:10:43.466-05:00

I finally purchased Kelly Clarkson’s latest, Breakaway, and I am loving it. It has some wonderful Ex bashing tunes that I could have used several months ago. Some of my anger issues are beginning to come to a closure, which is a good thing. I know several people will be happy about that. Anyway, everyone song on the disc is great. If you haven’t already, pick this one up.Last night I finally saw

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1117234430542377072005-05-27T17:53:00.000-05:002005-05-27T18:13:35.740-05:00

My mom had Monday off work for an 8 a.m. dental appointment. She somehow finagled her two babies and one grandbaby together to spend a day at the zoo with her after her checkup. The weather that day provided the optimum conditions for getting a sunburn, so I slathered on a high SPF lotion. In case I did get some sort of tan past all the protection, I wore an A-Shirt to prevent the farmer's tan

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1116907954013087832005-05-23T23:00:00.000-05:002005-05-23T23:12:45.716-05:00

So I went to the McDonald's web site to find out the scoop on the new Fruit and Walnut Salad I have been hearing about. Yes, I am a nerd like that. Really, I wanted to see what it looked like, and how big it was. The name alone sounds like something I would really enjoy, and I have been looking forward to trying it. The website offered up the following description:wow, McDonald's® has really

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1116355721854982982005-05-17T13:47:00.000-05:002005-05-17T13:48:41.860-05:00

Originally I had ambitions to apply for the School of Veterinarian Medicine. After talking with people in this profession, and evaluating my true response to the question "Veterinarian Medicine; you must really love animals," I have had a change of heart. Animals interest me that much is true. I'm fascinated with their physiology and how they interact among their own species and with other

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1116116282948737922005-05-14T19:18:00.000-05:002005-05-14T19:20:34.443-05:00

I came across PostSecret through another blog several weeks ago. I loved this entry:This reminded me how glad I am that I quit hating myself several years ago. I don't have any physical scars from this period in my life, but maybe I should also get a tatoo to commerate this acheivement. I have always wanted one, but I don't feel comfortable having something permanent put on my body unless it

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1115852362853984022005-05-11T17:57:00.000-05:002005-05-11T17:59:22.860-05:00

Last night he made dinner for me. I had called him on Monday asking if he would like me to bring this movie over that I recently received. He agreed, as I had anticipated, and then offered to cook dinner. Food sounded nice after getting off of work and I wanted to taste his cooking that he often brags about. To compliment the menu he gave me, I decided to bring a bottle of my favorite German

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1115513710113069142005-05-07T19:49:00.000-05:002005-05-07T19:55:10.220-05:00

The minivan in front me on my drive to work had three stickers in the back window. Two smaller, playful designs decorated the bottom left corner in shapes of a sun and children holding hands. The rainbow pattern used to color the stickers caught my eye right off. To the right in boring white and red colors read the standard "Proud parent of a (insert name of school) Honor Student." As I

mattnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1114298499571394302005-04-23T18:17:00.000-05:002005-04-23T18:21:39.573-05:00

How many times in one day can I try getting out of the car with my seat belt still on? At least paying $0.10 less per gallon of gasoline this morning versus the prices I saw last night made me feel better. It was nice to fill up for less than $25 for a change.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1114143193050759532005-04-21T23:08:00.000-05:002005-04-21T23:13:13.050-05:00

At work we receive periodic emails detailing the results of our various email compaigns. Usually the messages are full of boring details of projected sales, actual sales and click rates, which I skim through and delete. As work has been slow, I wasted a little time to read all the information. At the very end in attention grabbing red letters a heading set of by astericks announced the "In

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1114008342698725472005-04-20T09:44:00.000-05:002005-04-20T14:01:55.116-05:00

“He he he he he.” I sounded as if I enjoyed the story that was just related to me. All the while he spoke, the words barely registered in my conscious thoughts. My mind focused on other things. Sitting at my desk I had turned looking up to the co-worker standing beside me and talking. My not-so-pleasant view aimed straight up his nose to see a booger barely hanging on to a single nose hair.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1113964478078623012005-04-19T21:17:00.000-05:002005-04-19T21:34:38.080-05:00

My hands have begun developing calluses and losing their smoothness. To battle this problem I am looking into purchasing weight lifting gloves. Never would have I imaged I would own such a thing. My meager sports gear collection currently consists of a Frisbee and two 5lb. dumbbells. Without these the workout gloves will feel out of place in my non athletic closet. Monday, I stopped by a

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1113857809079995842005-04-18T15:56:00.000-05:002005-04-18T16:05:25.543-05:00

Friday, we went to the movies to watch The Amityville Horror. Overall, the story did not have the scare power to keep me awake at night. No problem going home to an empty apartment, or peaking into dark rooms to find the light switch. That being said, several scenes did scare the hell out of me. Had the girls next to me not been screaming at the top of their lungs, they would have definitely

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1113592618588504602005-04-15T13:49:00.000-05:002005-04-15T14:16:58.590-05:00

I had a cat moment early today. I should preface this for all the sensitive feliphiles. I know that not all cats are this stupid, and I'm sure your little pookie would never do something like this.While vacuuming the back seat of my car, I noticed a white dot on the floor. Quickly I ran the end of the suction hose over the spot and moved on other areas. Looking back over the floor, I noticed

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1113424628140768352005-04-13T15:37:00.000-05:002005-04-13T16:04:26.140-05:00

At work, someone regularly leaves pennies on the men's room urinals. This practice has kept me intrigued and captivated. I question this practice and imagine reasons mysterious habit. I would love to figure out the who, but I don't really see any clues. Hanging around in the restroom, or installing a camera are pretty much out of the question. Then, I want to know why. Is this a minuscule

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1113263208568785182005-04-11T18:42:00.000-05:002005-04-11T18:46:48.570-05:00

Louis Farrakhan African Name GeneratoSo I found out my African name is Buckwheat. This gave me a little bit of a complex about how long my hair was getting. I went over to the mirror to convince myself it wasn't true. Having not taken my shower for the day, I still had bed head with the majority of my hair sticking up. Add to that the look of surprise on my face, and I was starting to

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1112927792359084862005-04-07T20:35:00.000-05:002005-04-08T08:30:41.110-05:00

Because I had nothing else to write about today. {wink wink}1. Had lunch at Chili's with a couple of friends. I tried their Reggae Sunsplash Margarita. Very Mango and very delicious.2. Left work a couple of hours early to enjoy the nice weather3. Came home to find a package of Hostess Sno Balls sitting on the breakfast barr. The coconut marshmallow covered cream filled chocolate cake goodies

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1112922833386607442005-04-07T20:02:00.000-05:002005-04-07T20:13:53.386-05:00

...I would find at the gym this morning a rare Thursday appearance of the Aussie. And, he would make a totally gross hacking noise over and over until finally the sound of a huge wad of phlegm flying through the air and finally smacking into the side of the sink. I sigh heavily and shake my head side to side.With the help from a bit of self-hypnosis, I will wipe the whole scene from my memory

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1112844961848783252005-04-06T22:30:00.000-05:002005-04-06T22:36:01.850-05:00

Upon arriving to the gym in the morning before work, the locker room seems to be crowded with men getting dressed for the rest of their day. I would say about half the people in the gym are in the locker room when I arrive. Most are overweight and at least a decade older than I. In other words, not much eye candy. This is just as well as I am usually running late and in a hurry to start

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1112752729146569562005-04-05T20:56:00.000-05:002005-04-05T21:05:06.616-05:00

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1112234318071026552005-03-30T19:55:00.000-06:002005-03-30T19:58:38.073-06:00

For my sister’s fifth birthday, we were visiting my Grandparents. During our stay, their small town was throwing a parade for the Iron Horse Festival. As part of tradition, the parade participants tossed loads of candy to the crowd. Kids scrambled to get as much as possible. My sister had captured a Bazooka Chewing gum. We unraveled the wrapper to read the comic and the fortune. “A new

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1112104540641470342005-03-29T21:40:00.000-06:002005-03-29T22:00:24.123-06:00

This morning I was proud of myself for planning to pay for my new license plate tag before the end of the expiration month. I usually procrastinate and eventually forget that the tag expired - that is until I am reminded by the cop who pulls me over and threatens to impound my car. At the beginning of the month, I started to set aside extra money to cover this annual expense. This time I would

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1112075051283965042005-03-28T23:43:00.000-06:002005-03-28T23:44:11.286-06:00

This weekend I have been battling what I think to be allergies as it doesn’t quite feel like a cold. Sunday evening proved to be the worst culminating with stuffy nose, congested lungs and a scratchy voice. Although I had a semi-promise of a date from this guy I have been talking to, I decided to stay in and comfort myself with Cheetos and a new episode of Desperate Housewives. I also had a

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1111701127573598972005-03-24T15:50:00.000-06:002005-03-24T15:52:07.573-06:00

Recently, my DVD player has been acting bigoted towards most the gay movies I rent. Right in the middle of the movie, the picture will freeze or become pixilated and the sound will become choppy. Eventually, the DVD player stops reading the disk, and displays the player’s settings menu. There is a definite bias, as any other movie I watch plays fine. Either my DVD player homophobic, or that are a

mattnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1111446552529488662005-03-21T17:05:00.000-06:002005-03-21T17:09:12.530-06:00

I set a pan with water and eggs on low heat to boil for my lunches this week. With several years of practiced, I have mastered turning out a perfectly cooked hard-boiled egg: the yoke solid through the center, but without the ugly greenish-gray lining, the tell-tale sign of an overcooked egg. Mine come out crisply bi-tonal with the pure white oval and bright yellow ball.Well, I decided to check

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1111444961262659532005-03-21T16:22:00.000-06:002005-03-21T16:42:41.263-06:00

The first day of spring (or it might have been yesterday - my calendar doesn't say), and Oprah is already being interrupted by tornado and 2"-sized hail reports. It seems the severe weather is rushing through the gates this year. In 2002, I was in the path of a tornado. Fortunately, the tornado had momentarily lifted off the ground when passing over the apartment. We survived with some broken

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1111338495716857402005-03-20T10:27:00.000-06:002005-03-20T11:08:15.716-06:00

Movies of the Horror film genre fall very low on my movie watching priority list. I do like a good thriller that holds me on the edge of my seat. It's the ones with all the gore that make me squirm and lead to many sleepless nights. These I usually take a pass on seeing. Despite this, a couple of my friends made plans earlier in the week to take me to see The Ring Two. In preparation, we

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1111105923783162892005-03-17T18:31:00.000-06:002005-03-17T18:32:03.786-06:00

In my usual early morning haze, I pulled some clothes out of my closet to pack in my gym bag. I thought to check that I had all my other essentials (shampoo, deodorant, etc…) inside the bag. I hadn’t removed them since going to the gym the previous morning, so I zipped up my bag to head out the door. During my drive to work I realized that today is St. Patrick’s Day, and became terrified that

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1111027804781127412005-03-16T20:46:00.000-06:002005-03-16T20:50:04.783-06:00

In the beginning my parents only introduced my sister and I to the joys of Neil Diamond, Simon and Garfunkel and The Carpenters with a little of B J Thomas, Emma Lou Harris and Roger Miller thrown in for good measure. Their record and 8-track collection was really this limited. With all the outdoor activities I participated in as a kid, I didn’t have time for the radio. There were times

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1110897827149161102005-03-15T08:39:00.000-06:002005-03-15T08:43:47.153-06:00

I gained most of my music knowledge from the last ten or so years. So when I hear an old hit from the eighties in a movie or commercial, it’s usually the first time I have heard the tune. Occasionally I will fall in love with the song. This poses a small problem as I am very romantic with my songs. I play them all the time. I dream about the song. I hum the melody in anticipation of hearing

mattnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1110590346013570902005-03-11T19:08:00.000-06:002005-03-11T19:20:10.676-06:00

Tomorrow night I am hosting a little party that has become know as Margaret Cho night. This is the second such party after the huge success of the first. For this party I wanted to have one main drink, and make a pitcher full ahead of time so I wasn't mixing drinks all night. I decided on Mai Tai's, which I have not made before. I wanted something different from the Hurricane's and Vodka

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1110510428577196872005-03-10T21:04:00.000-06:002005-03-10T21:07:08.580-06:00

After several years of trying to tan naturally, I decided to use a tanning salon this year. Normally I would just spend another summer attempting to color my snow whiteness with warm rays from the sun, but this summer I am planning on visiting California. I don't want to stand out on the beach as a tourist. Or walking around West Hollywood for that matter. Being a virgin to the tanning bed I

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1110378628001102402005-03-09T08:14:00.000-06:002005-03-15T08:48:29.156-06:00

Last night I watched Napoleon Dynamite while Southern completed some homework for school. We came to the thrift store scene when Napoleon and Pedro are looking over a suit for the school dance. Southern commented, "That's you and Carlos." I don't know who should be more offended because that is so flippin' not true!

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1110035310890703952005-03-05T08:31:00.000-06:002005-03-06T11:19:34.896-06:00

So, last night I went with some friends to Joe's Crab Shack. My virgin visit to this Crustean and Steak House. Although, the dungeness crab that I sampled had a great flavor, my crab cake left much to be desired. Especially for the price I paid for my meal. I have had less expensive crab cakes with twice the flavor when visiting New Orleans. Of course, I should remember that that was New Orleans,

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1109950793665382972005-03-04T09:29:00.000-06:002005-03-04T09:39:53.666-06:00

Work has been wonderfully slow this week. During the dead times I finished the second half of a book, Devil in the White City, in two days that I have been reading for about four months now. The stories kept me interested at first, but in the middle I got bogged down with all the quotes and business related facts. Once I got past this part the rest held my focus. I would recommend it for

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1109871749327808442005-03-03T11:40:00.000-06:002005-03-03T11:42:29.326-06:00

At the gym this morning, Alicia Key's "Karma" played over the speakers. But this was the remixed version that has a faster beat. I think I like the original better.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1109634980963634132005-02-28T17:56:00.000-06:002005-02-28T18:01:06.583-06:00

...and music is my aeroplane. It's my aeroplane. Hearing the chorus last night on the radio took me back to my senior year in high school. With the majority of my required courses completed, I took photography as one of many elective classes. This art form interested me and I wanted to improve my everyday picture taking.I never produced a picture during the class that I thought was outstanding,

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1109478536075524032005-02-26T22:23:00.000-06:002005-02-27T14:40:23.213-06:00

Sometimes it feels so good to take a piss. It happened to me at work today after holding it until my break. I mentioned this to a co-worker who agreed. Although I wouldn't take it this far she commented that sometimes it is better than an orgasm. Especially after building up for a long while, the release is powerful. "Aftwards," she continued, "I need to light up a cigarette."

mattnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1109432146606643802005-02-26T09:33:00.000-06:002005-02-26T09:38:05.213-06:00

We had a good dinner. Friendly chat. Went out for a drink. Ended the night early. And left with a nice, simple kiss.Okay, I hung around long enough to get a second kiss. :)

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1109300026512073532005-02-24T20:51:00.000-06:002005-02-24T20:53:46.513-06:00

I had lost my favorite lip balm a little over a week ago. This makes the second time this year, and this time I didn’t have the extra money to buy more. Also, I learned in a foul tasting experience that hand lotion does not make a good substitute.Friday, I had run into this guy I have had a few conversations with. We had first met out at a club several months ago, but I was with someone else

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1109221208563567112005-02-23T23:00:00.000-06:002005-02-23T23:01:20.310-06:00

I got kind of worried when I couldn't find Angel Milk anywhere, and what used to be the Telepopmusik website is now for some French art gallery. VH1.com came through for me with some good/bad news. The album is still coming out, but now has a release date of May 24. They did offer some music clips which was nice. The album sounds like it will be pretty much in the same style with Genetic World.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1109214722682785212005-02-23T21:12:00.000-06:002005-02-23T21:14:18.633-06:00

I haven’t been in a good spirits for the past couple of weeks, and I haven’t been in the mood to post anything nice. I am doing much better now, so hopefully I will be posting regularly again.On Monday, I spent most of my day with my sister and niece. We did some shopping, visited downtown for picture taking, had lunch, watched a movie and played a little game. During this day, I found out my

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1108607019134649492005-02-16T20:13:00.000-06:002005-02-16T20:23:39.136-06:00

I just saw a commercial for the gay marriage Simpson's episode. From the snippets shown, it appears that the character that will be coming out is one of Marge's sisters. I can't wait to find out on Sunday.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1108427318084585542005-02-14T17:54:00.000-06:002005-02-14T18:28:38.086-06:00

Ever notice the odor in a thrift store? It's like a mix of musty and stale with hint of B.O. And every thrift store seems to have this same stench. Kind of like how all new cars have that fresh Buy Me fragrance. Not that the smell is pleasant, but the scent is tied to new cars and all the emotions that go with that. This works so well that sometimes used cars are sprayed with the New Car

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1108176234271333032005-02-11T20:41:00.000-06:002005-02-11T20:43:54.273-06:00

On Monday I picked up a man at Target. That day the weather outside felt near freezing, and the wind blew constantly. To stay warm he wore a black knit stocking hat and a full length well weathered black trench coat. His light complexion and powder blue eyes stood out against his dark apparel. Normally when spotting someone in such attire standing about, I will take a path as to avoid

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1107833942866822852005-02-07T21:39:00.000-06:002005-02-07T23:10:05.333-06:00

This post contains some sexually explicit material After the mall we visited the Shops at Legacy in Plano as the Angelika Theater was located there. We had enough time to stop in at Samui for some of the best Thai food. I had the Vegetarian Pad Thai, and ending up taking half home with me. As cold as it was outside, my car’s trunk acted as a good refrigerator. First of all the actually

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1107391049683964292005-02-02T18:37:00.000-06:002005-02-02T18:43:56.466-06:00

We finally made it to the Galleria for shopping, or at least window shopping for me. Some things I want: Cocktail dress from Nordstrom's to wear when Carlos, Jen and I finally get together as a drag trio. It was the cutest little number with martini glasses and confetti on it. I tried finding it on the website, but it is not there. You will have to see it in person, second floor next to the

mattnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1107270877650368092005-02-01T09:14:00.000-06:002005-02-01T09:20:54.826-06:00

Once we reached Ardmore, we (Buttercup and I, not Carlos as he was working out some plans with a friend on the phone. The person he was talking to really needed his help, so I am only joking here.) grew excited as we were almost to the Texas border. Staying with our new tradition, Buttercup pointed out WinStar on the left side of the highway while reminding us that this would be a fun stop on the

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1107193470223604552005-01-31T10:52:00.000-06:002005-01-31T11:44:30.223-06:00

From my trip on Sunday, January 23rd. After arriving home at 1 a.m. and sleeping restless due to excitement, I woke up around 7:45 (my alarm was set for 9am) to get ready for the big trip. I called my travel companions, Carlos and Buttercup to confirm the times I would be at there residences, 10:00 and 10:30am respectively. Before picking them up, I stopped to purchase some donuts for breakfast.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1106975849457033462005-01-28T23:17:00.000-06:002005-01-28T23:23:30.710-06:00

I woke up this morning to find unexpected snow. Nothing like the east coast has seen, but still exciting. Of course, this being Oklahoma, the snow was mostly gone by time I got off of work. Luckily I had a couple pictures left on the roll of film I took to Dallas. Those pictures along with a full report will be posted next week. Until then, here are some snow pictures.

mattnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7458221.post-1106964415761484942005-01-28T20:06:00.000-06:002005-01-28T20:06:55.760-06:00

A few days ago I briefly mentioned Mary Roach, the girl on American Idol with voices in her head. In case you missed the episode, you have to at least watch this. Link via Towleroad via stereogum

mattnoreply@blogger.com0